Gotham City's Own Paris Hilton

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie isn't surprised that there wasn't a lot of turnout for this "Be a Big Sibling" sign up event. Although everyone in Gotham City knows that crime affects the children of the city, there aren't a lot of people willing to help fix that.]

[Of course, the stringent background check required for it might also scare some people off.]

[She hands off a copy of the brochure and says,] "I hope you'll consider being a Big Sibling for one of our foster kids in need! They could use more good influences in their lives."

[The woman smiles at her, and moves on to Nessie's boss for the presentation.]

[Nessie hears another person step up to her table. She holds up another brochure, and says again,] "I hope you'll consider being a Big Sibling for one of our needy foster kids!"

[[OOC: (Added 23 July 2022) Although this particular scene was written beforehand, chronologically it comes after scenes that are being played at this time.]]

Comments

[iamthenightwing]

So I'd guessed. [He ducks his head, quiet for a moment.]

He... he went out in search of his mother. That was how it happened. He had a fight with Bruce and went back to his old neighborhood to cool down, I guess. He found his birth certificate, realized that... that the woman who'd raised him wasn't his biological mother. So he went searching for her, alone. And the Joker...

[Dick squeezes his eyes shut.] Why did he go out alone? Even if he was fighting with Bruce, he should have... he should have contacted the Titans. He should have contacted me. If he had, things could have gone differently. And I just... I don't know why he didn't.

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie frowns slightly.]

Who told you that he didn't?

[iamthenightwing]

[Dick... does pretty much the mother of all double takes, staring at her in shock.] What??

[not_a_wonder]

Think back, [Nessie says quietly.] When did you find out about Jason?

The Titans weren't on Earth when he ran away to Ethiopia, were they? All except one.

[iamthenightwing]

[Dick reels.] I... Danny was there, in case anyone needed to... are you saying that he- he called? That he spoke with Danny?

[not_a_wonder]

When your private line went unanswered, he called that hotline the team set up. He asked to speak with you, and Danny told him what was going on... and he decided not to go into detail.

[Nessie sighs, and looks away, over at the city skyline that is slowly gaining its nighttime glow.] Can you imagine? Taking that call, and then realizing later that you're the last person who spoke to him? Wondering if maybe you could have stopped him? Poor Danny.

[iamthenightwing]

I... [Dick seems struck speechless for a moment, not knowing how to process that. He'd been so angry about what Danny had said after Jason died, he hadn't even though... that he might be masking his own guilt, that Jason might have... that Jason...

Jason had called. Oh, God, Jason had called and he'd never even known and. Dick lets out a noise that isn't quite a sob, swallowing hard.]

I never knew. I never knew. All this time, I just thought... that he thought he had to do it alone.

... thank you, Vanessa. It's... hard. But I'm glad to know the truth.

[He's silent for a moment, before - wait. Wait.] ... how exactly do you know this?

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie unclasps her hands, and pulls into a sort of self-hug instead, holding onto her upper arms with her hands.] You've investigated me. You said you heard good things about the program, and me.

You must have noticed how often I was part of the first response to trafficking rings that get broken up, by the police or otherwise. [She shrugs.] The Red Hood thinks I do good work, too.

[iamthenightwing]

... ha. [Dick doesn't really know what else to say. He just kind of... leans back against this wall behind him.] He reached out to you. He talks to you.

Not just. About... work. About... about himself. He talks to you.

[Dick makes a bitter little laugh.] I guess I'm glad he talks to someone.

[not_a_wonder]

It's a little easier to relate to me, I think.

We're both of us the kid who came between the original partner and the partner that everyone loves, aren't we? Both of us thinking we were never good enough, thinking we were replaced and never really loved.

We're both the ones who ended up "the bad egg". The villain.

[Nessie pauses, and draws in a deep breath.] Is it too hard to believe that we might both be clawing our way back from that?

[iamthenightwing]

I think I'd like to believe that. [He's staring up at the sky, not looking at Nessie.]

Can you imagine what it's like? Losing someone like that, only to suddenly find out they're back like... like that? To have so much unresolved, to have him there and yet so completely unreachable? And I want to believe that there's a way to close that gap, but it's... I don't know. I just don't know.

[not_a_wonder]

There's a lot of pain there. For both of you. That pain makes it hard for him to reach out. To believe that you would want to, sincerely.

[Nessie's voice cracks, drops in volume.] He calls himself "the failure". I don't have to imagine what that's like.

And I know... just like Donna, you don't intend to make us look so awful in comparison, but... I'm the "bad" Amazon. He's the "bad" Robin.

[She clears her throat.] I'm sorry. This isn't about me.

[iamthenightwing]

He calls himself the - [Dick cuts off. He just looks... sad, and tired.]

It's okay. I mean - to talk about yourself here, too. I'm the one who's asking, and it's. [He cuts off again, shaking his head.]

He was... he was never the bad Robin. We let him down, he didn't - he didn't let us down. And... we've never met before, I know, but I can't imagine for a second Donna agreeing with you being the 'bad' Amazon.

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie nods when Dick cuts off his words. Jason is, as usual, his own harshest critic.]

I just don't want to make you feel like you have to talk about me, or be strong for me. I'm doing all right.

[Nessie smiles wryly at the mention of Donna.] I know it. She's not that sort of person. Neither is Diana. But I also know what I feel. And there are days... that what I feel overtakes what I know.

Was Jason always an emotional sort of person?

[iamthenightwing]

I understand. Just... don't feel like you have to hold back. But I know how that can be.

[The question takes him aback.] What?

I mean - well, he was a kid. He was a kid who'd been through a lot - we all were at one point, I guess. He just... felt strongly. He cared, he got angry, but I mean, it wasn't all negative. He felt everything strongly.

[not_a_wonder]

He still does. He feels before he thinks. He feels when he thinks. [Nessie shrugs.] Not to say that he's irrational. But when he feels strongly enough about something? It's harder to appeal to his logic.

[iamthenightwing]

I think we knew that.

No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just that... [He lets out a frustrated sigh.] I want to reach him, but I have no idea how.

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie doesn't react to the snap, really. She inclines her head in acknowledgement of the words, and that's all.]

When you say "reach" him, what do you mean?

[iamthenightwing]

[Dick looks a little startled - he hasn't really had to put this into words before.] Well... that is, he's not -

He's killing people. He's, I don't know, he's lashing out at us. He seems like he thinks none of us even really cared about him. He's hurting, and he's hurting other people, and I just want... I don't know. To talk to him. To know where his head is, for him to know where mine is.

[not_a_wonder]

You want him to stop killing people. You want him to stop hurting people. You want him to know that you cared, and you still care. You want to make sure that he's not hurting anymore. You want him to talk to you. And you want him to understand your point of view.

Which of those is the most important to you?

[Nessie pushes her hair back and shoots Dick a stern look.] To you, not the Batman.

[iamthenightwing]

[He shoots her a rueful little smile.] Do I have to choose?

... I want him... I want to make sure he's not - no. I know he's still hurting. I want to know how to help.

[not_a_wonder]

Is it fair to expect him to change all those things at once? [Nessie's answering smile is warm and sympathetic; she's rather sure that Dick already knows the answer.]

So you want to help him stop hurting. And talking to him will probably be the way to do it. That's two out of six.

[iamthenightwing]

I guess it's not. But I... I don't know if I can stand by while people are dying.

I don't know if he wants to talk to me, either.

[not_a_wonder]

[Nessie snorts.] But you sure as hell can stand by when these people run guns that end up killing others, when these people peddle poison?

[She takes a breath, and says in a more measured tone,] I'm not advocating -- and Jason isn't practicing -- the indiscriminate killing that the vigilantes seem to think he's doing. But he has a reason for what he does, even if you don't understand or agree with it.

And anyway... who wants to talk to someone who has expectations for you that you'll never measure up to, who blames you for things out of your control? No one, really. I understand the hesitance on your side, and his. For myself, it's why I don't speak with Cassie Sandsmark.

[iamthenightwing]

What? Of course not. If I can stop them, I will. You think I just - let them walk away?

I know he's not killing indiscriminately. But these are people's lives we're talking about.

I know he thinks he can't measure up. I know there's a lot of shit to deal with. I just... I want to talk to him without. Without worrying that if we just walk away from each other, someone's going to die.

[He sighs.] I don't know what to do with any of this. I just want everything to stop for a little while and deal with all this- this without anything else getting in the way.